Everything you were just dying to know about me -- until NOW

I got this in my e-mail the other day from Jen A. I am one of the friends who never responds with my own answers, so today I thought, "I'll do it!" And it's all 100% true, of course, because this is serious business. No time for facetiousness.

Friends Survey

0. What time is it
16:25.

You might be wondering why this is numbered "0." When I received this e-mail survey, the first two items were numbered 1, and renumbering the first one 0 seemed far easier than renumbering the other 38. And that is why this is question number 0.

1. What's your full name
Sarah Christine Maria Consuela Katerina Sophia [Schodroski] Ehman

2. What is your favorite season
Fall, all two weeks of it. I also like winter up through New Year's. Then I'm ready for summer.

3. What is the most recent movie that you have seen in a Theater?
Because I went to the movie theater *SO* recently, I can't remember. I *believe* it was Harry Potter.

4. Place of birth
Virginia.

5. Favorite food
Food. And ice cream.

6. What's your natural hair color?
Shocking pink. I only color it brown because I want to be like everybody else.

7. Ever been to Alaska?
No. Ever been to Missouri?

8. Ever been toilet paper rolling?
If by "toilet paper rolling" one means when you go to take toilet paper off of the roll and accidentally pull too hard so that the roll goes spinning out of control right there on the wall and unrolls half of the toilet paper, and then you have to sit there and try to re-roll it, only it never goes on straight or as compact as it was originally--kind of like re-folding a map as you're driving, while on the phone getting directions from your brother, eating a taco, and changing lanes--then yes.

9. Love someone so much it made you cry?
Love someone so much that when he was a stupid jackass, HE made me cry? Or perhaps I cried over the realization that I loved a stupid jackass? Do you see why I never fill these out?

10. Been in a car accident
No. Thank you for making me keenly aware of this fact, JUST AS I'M ABOUT TO GET IN THE CAR.

11. Croutons or bacon bits
Croutons, especially if they're the herby-buttery kind.

12. Favorite day of the week
CWS Friday: because it acts like Saturday, but when it's over--SURPRISE!--you get to do Saturday all over again!

13. Favorite restaurant
Kramer's Deli, Frostburg. Best chicken salad sandwich I have ever had in my entire chicken salad sandwich lifetime. AND they *deliver*.

14. Favorite flower
Sunflowers! Great big bouquets of great big sunflowers!

15. Favorite sport to watch
Lime jello wrestling.

16. Favorite drink
Non-alcoholic? Hot chocolate. Alcoholic? Hot chocolate with Hot Damn! cinnamon schnapps. What the heck is a schnapp? Hang on, I'll Google it...

http://guntheranderson.com/liqueurs/schnapps.htm

Personally, I like the term eau de vie in reference to liqueur. Water of life. Bon vivant. Jovial fellow. Hm-hm-hm.

17. Favorite ice cream
Pumpkin. Tin roof. Peanut butter panic! Vanilla. Mint chocolate cookie. I LOVE THEM *ALL*!

18. Disney or Warner Brothers?
Kellogg or General Mills? Ben and Jerry or Häagen-Dazs? Little Debbie or Hostess? Hershey or Mars? Dominos or Pizza Hut? Lays or Pringles? Granny Smith or Red Delicious?

19. Ever been on a ship?
A real, operating ship as it sailed the open seas? Nay. ARRRRR!

20. What color is your bedroom carpet?
Beige. (It came with the house.)

21. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
ZERO! How many times did I fail the Praxis? ZERO (and a half)!

22. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?
My momma

23. What do you do when you are bored?
Creative people do not get bored. Neither do perfectionist neat freaks who live with not-quite-as-neat freaks.

24. Bedtime
When I am healthy and relaxed, meaning that I am not sick--in which case I will go to bed much sooner, or never leave it--and that I am not taking a class and stressed about homework or busy/stressed at work and the house is clean, therefore I am not stressed about cleaning, and I am not on the computer where I can get sucked into something like blogging until all hours of the night, and if I'm not watching TV, especially HGTV or Food Network, which also draw me in late at night with crafty shows like House Hunters (that Suzanne Wong...) and Good Eats (that Alton Brown...), respectively, I typically go to bed between 9:00 and midnight.

25. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest probably?
26. Who is the person you sent this to that least likely to respond ?
27. Who is the person that you are most curious to see their responses?
N/A as I am rebelling and posting this in blog-o-world, rather than sending via e-mail. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

28. Favorite TV show?
Colorsplash! on HGTV.

29. Last person you went to dinner with?
More than likely it was Keith.

30. What are you doing right now besides being on the computer?
How can I be doing something besides being on the computer if I'm on the computer? How much more do you expect me to do!? I'm sitting on my duff, answering silly questions.

32. What are your favorite colors?
ColorS? What happened to forcing us to pick just one? Is the alteration of this inquiry the result of widespread indecisiveness or the consumerist tendency to want more, more, more, more, more?

I love YELLOW. And YELLOW loves me. And ignore the fact that I have blatantly refused to choose a single favorite on almost every other "favorite" question.

33. How many tattoos do you have?
Well, counting the tiny, little, miniscule, microscopic pineapple on my hip--zero.

34. How many pets do you have?
We do not have any pets because Keith is allergic to all of the pets that he is allowed to have.

35. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
We don't do eggs. Keith is allergic. Just chicken.
If it still troubles you, please see the following: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken-and-egg_problem

36. What do you want to do before you die?
Train for a biathlon.

37. Have you ever been to Hawaii?
No, but I have been to Hawaii's website.

38. Have you been to countries outside the U.S.?
Canada. And Texas. I've also been to Scotland's website.

Pumpkin-Brownie Strata with Mascarpone Buttercream Frosting -- and wedding bells

This morning, as I was lounging around in my pajamas, enjoying the day off and busying my mind by thinking of all the things I should be doing--showering, eating, moving--I suddenly heard the joyful tune of "When the Saints"--buzzz, buzzz--"Go Marching In"--buzzz, buzzz--coming from my cell phone, which was also vibrating furiously across the coffee table. And I was delighted to discover that it was Jen B calling to tell me that SHE'S *ENGAGED*!

This made me so happy that I could not end the day without sharing this delightful dessert I created after I had an unexplainable but welcome craving for pumpkin and chocolate, which also inspired the work of art posted just before this--a little joy to celebrate a *VERY BIG JOY*! It takes two very individual and very special flavors, and combines them with a layer of what is mostly a combination of butter and sugar and a delicious Italian cheese. Which is not very unlike marriage. Except for mine, as my husband is allergic to dairy, and so our marriage is more like a combination of select brands of margarine and sugar and no cheese--not even the delicious Italian kind. But I'm sure it's healthier that way.

Pumpkin-Brownie Strata with Mascarpone Buttercream Frosting

PUMPKIN
1 C pumpkin puree
1 egg
2 C sugar
1 1/3 C flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp cloves

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flower a 9 x 13" pan.
Combine pumpkin, egg and sugar in a large bowl. Sift together flower, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, ginger and cloves. Add flour mixture to pumpkin mixture and mix until combined. Spread evenly in pan.

Bake for 30 - 35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Allow to cool completely on a wire rack.

BROWNIE
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2/3 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup boiling water
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
1 1/3 cups flour
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9 x 13" pan.
Stir together the cocoa and baking soda in a large bowl. Add 1/3 cup vegetable oil and boiling water. Mix until well blended and thickened. Stir in the sugar, eggs, and remaining 1/3 cup oil. Add flour, vanilla and salt; mix just until all of the flour is absorbed. Spread evenly into the prepared pan.

Bake for 35 - 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Allow to cool completely on a wire rack.

MASCARPONE BUTTERCREAM FROSTING
16 ounces mascarpone cheese*
1/2 C butter, softened
2 C confectioner's sugar, sifted
1 tsp vanilla extract

Cream together mascarpone and butter. Mix in vanilla. Gradually add sugar, combining thoroughly.

---

Spread a thinnish layer of frosting on top of the brownie layer--enough to use as a glue. Place the pumpkin layer on top of the brownie layer. This is easier said than done. Frost the pumpkin layer--and don't be stingy, either. Cut into squares or rectangles or stars and serve!

* You can use cream cheese if you can't find mascarpone (say it: mas-car-PONE-ay)--but it's not nearly as fancy-sounding (or tasting).

Strata-licious

Sarah Schodroski Ehman
Strata-licious (from the kitchen of Little Joys)
September 2007
Paper
7" x 5"

A very thin line. And a dot.

Call Julie.

An ordinary command--a statement instead of a request, as indicated by a period at the end, rather than a question mark--becomes elevated in importance with the simple, continuous application of the shift key:

CALL JULIE.

But with a line hovering over that period, the urgent all-caps statement seems not only more urgent, but friendlier too:

CALL JULIE!

as if what it's really telling us, in sideways Morse-code-like style, is that the inflection of the last syllable is not a commanding drop but a cheerful raise in pitch, followed by an innocent but knowing smile, and that behind that narrow facade is a big fat "This is of the utmost importance, but I know that implied cheeriness is more likely than actual bossiness to get you to actually do it right now (please)." It may also say "Whoops, I almost forgot to tell you this, and I cannot possibly hold back any longer for if I do, I shall either forget again or explode."

So, as you can see, there is a very thin line dividing [an ordinary statement.] from [an EXCLAMATION!].

Courrier electronique - part deux

From: Amber, Jennifer
Sent: Wednesday, September 19, 2007 15:41

You're bloggerific today! ;)

---

From: Schodroski, Sarah C
Sent: Wednesday, September 19, 2007 15:38

Does the candle just stay lit and drip wax all over the floor? Does the faucet keep running? Yeah, um, sorry, all of that at least better be cooking me breakfast too. Freaks.

---

From: Amber, Jennifer
Sent: Wednesday, September 19, 2007 15:27

OMG if I ever woke up to find that my roommate did this in my house, I think I'd freak! ;)

-----Original Message-----

This is a pretty good video. The guy who made it must have WAY too much time on his hands, but it's pretty entertaining. The mind of a bored engineer is a scary thing…
http://www.chilloutzone.de/files/player.swf?b=10&l=197&u=ILLUMllSOOAvIF//P_LxP92A42lCHCeeWCejXnHAS/c

For the love of plain text

Rich text editors have enabled the more animated percentage of the population--of which I am a member--to enliven their informal written communication with emboldened, italicized, colored and otherwise visually enhanced text. However, the loss of rich text editing in my work e-mail has allowed me to develop a true appreciation for the humble asterisk. Asterisks can be used in plain text editing to add emphasis to a word, *or* to communicate nonverbal indicators, i.e. *grin*, *sigh*, *hug*, *cough*. They also make my words look sparkly. And what is the point of writing if not to make words sparkle?

Courrier electronique

From: Schodroski, Sarah C
Sent: Wednesday, September 19, 2007 9:02

LOL- I'm signing into my account as we speak...

---

From: Amber, Jennifer
Sent: Wednesday, September 19, 2007 9:00

I think you have another blog entry! ;) hehehe along w/ the pumpkin brownie recipe!

---

From: Schodroski, Sarah C
Sent: Wednesday, September 19, 2007 8:59

I agree--I never have liked that word since it sounds so...biological. And epicurean sounds like a type of beautician. And foodie sounds a bit obsessive and *ahem* unsophisticated, like roadie or groupie (Duuuuuude! AWEsome pizza!). But I *am* partial to "bon vivant"! :)
...
I looked it up just to make sure, and it literally means "jovial fellow" in French! I like it even more!!

Sarah Schodroski Ehman, Bon Vivant :)

---

From: Amber, Jennifer
Sent: Wednesday, September 19, 2007 8:47

gastronome (noun) A connoisseur of good food and drink.
Synonyms: epicure, epicurean, foodie, gourmet, bon vivant
Usage: He was quite the gastronome, and restaurant chefs around the town knew it was important to impress him.

** somehow, I still wouldn't want someone to CALL ME THAT!! ;) LOL

*SIGH*

It must be the milder weather and messiness of my house. But lately (and by lately I mean today) I've found myself reminiscing about happier times--like last Christmas when the Ehman and Schodroski families came together in our new home to celebrate the holiday:

Hallway, Dining Room cleared at last
A Christmas miracle, some say
DECEMBER 26
DINING ROOM TABLE, Downstairs -- Maybe miracles really are really for real.

In an amazing turn of events, the once perma-cluttered Downstairs Hallway and Dining Room were cleared shortly before the Christmas holiday. The clearing reportedly took place as Keith and Sarah prepared for the temporary surge in the house population, which was to take place on Christmas Day.

“It was a critical measure, both for safety and sanity’s sake,” Sarah said in a statement issued early yesterday.

The number of people that typically inhabit the house was expected to increase by 550%.

The clearing comes after several months of maze-like living. The Dining Room was serving as a temporary shelter for homeless tools and miscellanea. The Hallway was host to a constantly changing array of things such as boxes, tools, recent purchases and laundry.

“It makes [the Downstairs] seem so much bigger,” Keith said of the newly emptied spaces, as Sarah danced happily around without stubbing her toes or bruising her shins. Or knees. Or thighs.

The Hallway experienced a brief relapse on Christmas Day, when Auntie Julie, Grandma and Grandpa Ehman arrived and filled both the Living Room and Hallway with presents. The fallback lasted only a few hours, however, and did not seem to hinder traffic or the Christmassy mood in any way. All rooms were clear again by the time the crowd dispersed, around 9 p.m.

Purpose and purposelessness II

And my other short-term life goals are few and simple:

1. Run a marathon (26.2 miles), or be capable of it, by the time I reach the age of 26.2 on December 31, 2008
2. Get a little pineapple tattoo
3. PASS THE PRAXIS II

Woohoo!

Where I have been during the last two weeks so that I have not written anything here

It all started when I was skydiving.

I was falling, gliding, floating, drifting peacefully above the Earth. I reveled in feeling the wind against my face, my feet completely free of a ground on which to stand. Right-side-up, upside-down, sideways, backwards--no matter: I was free. The world lay beneath me, unaware of me, uninterested in me, but it was mine to gaze upon--mile after mile after mile after mile. I could see more than any earth-bound human could dream of.

Then suddenly, it was gone. There was a horrible BOOOOM! and then darkness. I stretched my eyes wider, I squinted my eyes harder, searching desperately for some glimmer of light. But there was only blackness. I closed my eyes, because somehow, total darkness is easier to bear with eyes shut. And with my eyes shut, I began to feel nothing. Numbness.

Then I felt a heaviness. I was sitting, my feet planted firmly on a floor, my arms bent and resting on another hard surface, elbows at my sides, fingers fixed to some device. I opened my eyes again and blinked to adjust. There was light, but not the warm, blazing light of the sun. It was instead a cold, cruel, artificial light. I looked around and saw that I was trapped in a small, ugly, windowless room. I was seated in the most uncomfortable chair--my back and legs and shoulders ached from it. I tried to stand, but couldn’t, as I was trapped by a force far stronger than I.

I finally looked down at my hands and noticed that just in front of them, a tiny black rectangle was growing. Larger and larger it grew, as large as my fist, then as large as my head, then as large as my torso, and larger still, until it completely obstructed my view of the plain, ugly walls. All was deadly silent, except for the buzzing lights. I tried to scream, to yell, to cry out, but the heaviness of the ground, the chair, the lights, the air, was crushing my voice.

Twaaaannnngggg. And the rectangle began to glow--first from the center, the light spreading to its bounds and growing brighter and brighter--a phosphorescent glow that made my eyes feel as if they would shrivel up like raisins. I closed my eyes, but the light pierced through my eyelids. I tried to look away, but it was everywhere I turned my head. Again, I tried running away. Again, I was pulled back into the same contorted position.

Just as I had lost all hope of escape and resigned to my fate, trapped in a windowless room, forced to sit eternally and stare at this ever-imposing, glowing phosphorescent rectangle, there appeared upon the rectangle there in front of my eyes, in colossal, black letters

TO DO

It was then that I lost subconsciousness and became a zombie-like creature trapped in an artificial world with TO DO looming over my head.

I had been given a clock. But the clock kept its own slow, tedious time. Minutes that seemed like hours. Hours that seemed like days. Time that served only to prolong my agony. It was the clock that was cruelest of all the things in the terrible, windowless room. It was the clock that held me prisoner. It was the clock that would have kept me forever, if it could.

But when the clock ticked nine hours since I had opened my eyes to find myself there--nine terrible hours; five-hundred forty horrifying minutes; thirty two thousand four-hundred agonizing seconds--it stopped. Its power ceased. Its hold on me was over. The clock had expired before me. I was back in my own world once again, exhausted, defeated, compacted, but free.