I Spy

[with heavy German accent]

My name? My name is Greta Schmidt. I am a 33-year-old Astronomer from Germany. I am traveling to London, England on business for four days. Of course I am not Sarah! Codename "Pineapple"? What are you talking about? I do not know any such person.

I certainly was not at the International Spy Museum in Washington, D.C. this past weekend. In fact I've never even heard of the International Spy Museum, nor have I heard of or ever participated in the hour-long interactive experience, Operation Spy, which was not totally fun except for an under-enthusiastic group, and I absolutely do not think it would be fun to go back -- because, of course, I have never been -- with a group of 8-10 friends who would be enthusiastic about playing along, hypothetically speaking.

No, I have never seen this woman before in my life. Jen B you say is her name? Codename "Pancake"? This is silly. Not only have I never seen nor heard of her, I was definitely not with her while I was not at the Spy Museum this past weekend. She looks suspicious though. Perhaps you should use the time you are wasting with me to find and interrogate her.

We didn't walk down to see the White House either, after not going to the Spy Museum without having ever met.

And then we didn't go to Georgetown for an afternoon of lunch and shopping. Oh? I'm really not excited to hear that a Paper Source is opening in Annapolis later this year. Eh. So what?

We did not go to this restaurant -- Café Bonaparte, you call it? -- and we didn't eat delicious crépes for dessert. No, the Crépe Josephine was not dark and luxurious with bananas and Nutella, not topped with vanilla ice cream, and the Crépe Suzette was not warm and citrusy -- absolutely not the thing for a long afternoon in late spring -- also not topped with vanilla ice cream. I don't even like ice cream. (Alright! Maybe a little.)

Okay, this is getting a little old. No! There is no such place as Georgetown Cupcake, that is not a line of people not standing outside of the shop that is not Georgetown Cupcake, and I most certainly did not purchase Coconut, Red Velvet, Lemon Berry and Chocolate Hazelnut cupcakes that were not fantastically delicious to give away and/or eat for breakfast Sunday morning. In fact I am not even really interested in food.