Gut feeling

Do you ever get the pit feeling in your stomach, like something's wrong, you just don't know what? And it's the anxious anticipation that really kills: the knowing that something is about to happen, but when? When? WHEN?! Like when you go to the eye doctor and they want to do the glaucoma test--you know, when they blast your eyeball with a strong puff of air--and you've got your forehead and chin pressed up against the machine, and you're staring at the dot, and your eye is drying out while you're trying not to blink. And you KNOW the air is coming...coming soon...aaaaaanytime now...I wish she would just push the damn bu--POOF! And you go shooting three feet backwards because even though you anticipated the hell out of it, it SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF YOU ANYWAY. Something like that, only without the technician, your husband and everyone else in the waiting room biting their knuckles trying their hardest not to laugh audibly. Because that would be embarrassing.

I woke up this morning and--WHAM!--bad pit feeling. I made it to work, and everything seemed to be okay, so I got busy moving office furniture around and doing general organizing and cleaning work, which is an excellent way to prevent overthinking. But as the end of the day was nearing, and I sat down to try and install a scanner--WHAM-WHAM!--bad pit feeling coupled with the overwhelming urge to get home as soon as possible. And I made it home, and everything still seems to be okay. I don't normally act on gut feelings; I don't even act every time I get the bad pit feeling. But today it is especially strong, still writhing inside of my stomach, stirring up this unexplainable worry, and as hard as I'm trying to get on with the evening I can't stop thinking that something is wrong. Something is very wrong.