Review of the future

It's employee review time at work. This always depresses me, because as I go through and make my list of accomplishments for the past year, I realize that I can basically summarize my job accomplishments as follows:

I drew some stuff, I printed some stuff, I scanned some stuff, and I mounted it all on foamcore.

It might be alright if it read more like this:

I drew some stuff, I printed some stuff, I scanned some stuff, and I mounted it all on foamcore, which promptly ended world hunger.

But wouldn't it be more effective to have us create a list of accomplishments we *wish* was ours? I mean, don't you think it would better suit a company to have their employees thinking more about what could be, rather than what was -- to focus on the future, rather than to dwell on the past? Don't you want to know what I *want* to do, instead of plowing through a fluffed-up account of what I've done in days gone by? Wouldn't *that* tell you something more important about the people working for you?

It really got me thinking, and so I've decided to put together my wishful thinking summary of accomplishments for next year, written in the third person, of course.

In the past year, Sarah has proven that she is a keystone member of the world, and that our lives are exponentially better because she exists.

Not only has she inspired countless others to embrace a more magnanimous philosophy of thoughtfulness toward and awareness of the impact of our actions on others through her own behavior, she has pioneered the widespread acceptance of imagination and creativity as a crucial component of humanity.

Sarah channeled her youthful energy and boundless creativity to establish the "Creative Lounge," a place for all people to leave adult worries outside and experience relaxation, rejuvenation and imagination--to focus on discovering how to use the talent and creativity that each person posesses for the betterment of being.

Additionally, Sarah finished crocheting her first afghan this year. She also ran a marathon and got a little pineapple tattoo. Through these innocuous acts, she demonstrated that even that which we believe to be impossible can be achieved.